Wheat, wheat; fields of wheat!

David Andrew Quinn 1957-2023

You ask me about stories.... Hmmmmm, where shall I begin with a man who was the best friend anyone could ever have.  Surely you have dirt on him, he cannot be AWL that nice?  Well when we met, we were 2 clueless freshman at DRURY College trying to navigate a new freedom, a new way of life.  But along that journey we found our way and that was magical--it is called FUN! Just All-American type stuff with in-jokes and quips that would confound or make people laugh. 

As I reminisce about my friend who I loved like a brother, I can only find solace in the fact that his sun shined on me oh so bright. He gave me strength and support to carry on in difficult times in my life. He was genuine in his concern for me as I was for him. Dave supported me in the productions at DRURY that us Troupers worked so hard on to get it right. We wanted to be the best; we were proud of our artistic journey. Some of us went on become an educator par excellence, caring and guiding students in their pursuit of a dream. Just as we were mentored at DRURY. Huge kudos to those professors, like Dr. Padberg, who gave us a leash to "do our thing" and learn from the good and bad. Some of us also worked in our profession at its highest level. there wasn't a day that I would go through the stage door at a Broadway Theater that I wished that you AWL could have been at my side. The DRURY Theater experience is what gave me an upper hand; yes I had talent, but I was clever like Dave to let my "sun shine" on those around me. Your talent gets you the interview, but personality keeps you working.  Who wants to hang around a "Loser", as Dave and I would say. We liked being with powerful energy and above all those who love to have FUN.

Dave was so supportive of me as I worked in New York City.  He visited me a few times; once with Kim, another with Madi and also for Melissa and my wedding. We would try to see shows together and I always suggested ones that I thought he might enjoy. I was so glad that he could see the standards set for a Broadway show. One day I brought him to a Design Studio to see "the process". He said he felt like it made him a better educator; I agree even from my perspective as and instructor and NYU. I was bringing Broadway to the classroom, while teaching on lower Broadway. I am sure Dave's students will always remember him for his fun and clever approach to imparting his knowledge in the classroom. He told me one time that a student stopped his lecture to ask him to go back to "should". Apparently the student was having a hard time keeping up. Dave said, "Should? What do you mean? Do you think this stuff is written down scripted!" My other fun story from the early days of teaching none majors in core credit classes, they would always ask us how to spell the word "Theater". My stock answer was write on the chalk board (no dry erase board at that time)-Thee-ATE-Or.  And they wrote it down as so. Dave had his own derivation of this spelling but I cannot recall it but just as phonetically funny.

WE used to laugh and joke about things so much that those around us would not know what was fact or fiction. It was derived from watching Woody Allen Movies.

In fact the one thing that connected us was "Love and Death" a Woody Allen movie. He was reciting lines from that movie in our first Introduction to Drama class with Gail Spillman in the basement Studio of Pearson Hall. I threw them right back to him and that was it--the "keystone" combination began. As we walked to the Navy Building after class, which he knew where it was, we spied Van Epperson kneeling on the lawn tying his shoe lace. He asked us "where is the Navy Building?" WE looked at each other and laughed. WE told Van to follow us, almost like a scene out of Animal House, where Bluto, says "sure come on in!" Let the party begin, in the portals of a very odd space to house a college academic department. We were on our way to the first Stagecraft class with Lou Ramirez or "Cheech" as some of us called him. Even at that point in our friendship we had an inside joke, "where is the Navy building?" Do you know you could blind fold me and take me into that building and I would know where I was by the smell. It wasn't bad, it had a smell. But don't drink the water out of the water fountain. Dave said it had bugs in it.

Yes we had monikers for people and had fun with it. Like the guy in our dorm in Graduate School who looked like a Norman Rockwell model, WE called him, "the Norman Rockwell Poster Child".  Then there was these 2 guys who thought they were such ladies men and a bit overweight due to "drinking heavily"; so we called them "Slim and Trim". It was and always will be our joke, no harm, just fun, something for us to laugh about while studying or working on a production.

Here is a very little unknown fact about "Dr. Quinn" (funny story about a student in his Grad Assistant Class of Intro to Theatre who thought he had a Phd)--he was a very talented baseball player at DRURY.  He was an amazing power hitter and was an Allstar his Senior year.  He could hit the ball anywhere and he could field like a Ozzie Smith. Damn good arm too.  Our freshman year I played shortstop and he was second baseman--a real keystone combo for sure. We both loved to shag flies after dinner on the lawn of Sunderland field. We did the same in Graduate School; pre homework stress release and a bit of closing around.

What was really funny is this guy would hang up his dirty clothes in the closet. One time I asked him about it and he said, "it keeps them cleaner".  H mmm, What wisdom, he said "at least they don't get wrinkled if you are running low on clothes to wear." 

We used to laugh and laugh about the "2-towel theory". You have 2 towels and you use one a day while the other is drying out.  Saves on laundry time. He even added that "bit" into Beyond Friendship script. By the way his towels were green, as was his bedspread.

Speaking of that play, he wrote loosely based on our lives in the dorm, okay there was some truthful moments. He wrote from his experience, his view, made me examine who I was back in the day. I directed it. He came for a residency as guest artist and we honed and crafted that script while in rehearsal--"a work in progress". I thought it would be a great experience for the students and I selfishly got time to spend with my buddy. One night we were doing a scene and it just didn't ring true. He had approached that scene as if it happened off stage and then we see the aftermath like in a Sophoclean tragedy--cue the eccyclema. I said to Dave after the rehearsal and the cast is gone, we need to see that scene on stage, it is a pivotal moment in the character's growth. If you knew Dave he could get a bit argumentative, I get it, I wouldn't want to revise my Scenic designs much but it has to happen in order to support the story-telling. So he went back to his suite in Findlay Student Center. That night he wrote a new scene which we then incorporated into the show. AND, it worked magically. "My Boy!" he was amazing, what a talented writer.

Okay why would you send your child to school with badly fitting pajamas? Dave had these pajamas that almost fell off his ass every night because they were either too big, old and stretched out or knowing him he was too cheap to buy new ones. Hmmmm new pajamas or a vanilla shake, which is more important. And who wears long sleeve pajamas dude!?! I had boxer shorts and a t-shirt, that was my "mtp" approved sleepwear. Which meant I could wear the t-shirt I had on during the day at night, thus creating less laundry. Another one of our rationalities in battling the laundry task in those horrible machines downstairs.

Dave at DRURY couldn't have weighed more that 150 pounds. Where as I was weighing in at 165-170. I was the middleweight to his featherweight. One of our fondest childhood memories was the afternoon special about "Fatty and Skinny" 2 japanese boys who were friends. We both loved and identified with that story.

I could go on and on here, I won't. His body of work and student outreach speaks volumes and has touched so many lives with optimism and hope. Something our modern world needs today. I will leave you with this one thing WE used to do at night after the lights were off and we were in our beds. I shared this with his daughter Madi--thought of it last night as I was going to bed. He would turn off the lights as his bed was next to the door and light switch, mine across the room next to the window. I would say, "good night Dave", he would say "good night Todd" then we would then go through the routine at the end of every Walton TV show. We would finally end with good night "John Boy". Many times we would throw in other names like class mates in school or theater participants, "Good Night Pacheco, good night Richard Roby, good night Bennett, good night Danny Lay, good night Dixie Lee Hyatt"--and on and on giggling like 2 school girls at a sleep over.

Dave Andrew Quinn I will look forward to seeing you in heaven and we can continue to have fun and discuss the merits of wearing our undershorts inside out on alternate days. Or is it better to go to breakfast early on Sunday Morning and then hang around and each Brunch. Or go back to the dorm and sleep for an hour. I have my alarm set for the crack of noon, Bro!

 

Until then I will miss you so very much, my friend.

I am Todd Potter and I approve of this message.

and remember

"Patches we are depending on you son"

Stay tuned for the adventures of "Barfo the Clown"

 

It’s Been 3 Years….

 

¡CHEERS!

Well, Folks it has been 3 years since “M’s” "hiccup/inconvenience" in life.  It does seem so long ago to me yet I can remember the details so easily.  I thought I would share with you how she is progressing and enjoying her life in SWFL.

First of AWL I found a really great Neurologist who is very engaged in Melissa’s case; even to the point of figuring out why this happened.  Of course I know, and Melissa will say she was trying to keep up with the younger crowd.  What WE want to know is how to continue to move forward to make her quality of life better than it is now as far as balance and any gains in short term memory.  That remains to be answered because we cannot put a percentage or time line on the healing process of the brain.  The brain can reconnect in ways but it is based on many factors which tie into personal data; like age or genetics.  The Neurologist has no definitive information or case histories known.  Simply put, the brain can reconnect circuits in unknown ways so it is a “wait and see” have faith in the healing power of the body and universe.  I BELIEVE she has just a bit more progress to squeeze out of the process, because I see clues AWL the time.  I remain optimistic and positive for this wonderful person in my life. 

Yes it is funny, in a human way, that I can tell her something and 30 minutes later she has forgotten.  It age 60 plus it happens to anyone.  So she loves my lists I give her and then she checks them off when accomplished.  Of course this has to be done on her terms of doing her Word Search Puzzles.  Don’t mess with that laser focus and competitive spirit of beating her best time of completing the puzzle.  HAH

Reiteration time:  We are talking about a person who had to learn how to breath, swallow water, talk, eat and walk again (she currently uses a Black Diamond Trekking Pole now; only when she is outside). Tough duty for most of us, but something kept her moving forward despite fevers, sepsis and pneumonia (there were some other weird viruses in there that I had to gown up, glove up and mask up for WAY before the Pandemic).  She says she did this for me, but I known it was her strong will to live and enjoy our life together.  Maybe it is the same thing; we can debate.  You can draw your own conclusion.  

Melissa currently is beating me at Scrabble 36-27 games; those are the most up to date standings.  She routinely defeats me and she keeps score flawlessly.  She listens to music on her phone and reads articles suitable for People Magazine or Us (HAH).  She can remember long term events with ease. She loves her new home and community, hopefully in the coming months we can socialize more her at The Arboretum our community.  It is still the Wild Wild West here when it comes to pandemic rules and protocol.  WE like to be safe.  No need to push our luck.  Many people are still getting infected with the latest issue of "the plague". 

Melissa’s big goal is driving.  That will take much patience and professional evaluation.  She is nowhere near getting behind the wheel of a car.  No reaction time and the process of dealing with decisions is still a bit cloudy.  And if she could go to the store, how long could she walk and shop?  She has a current fitness level of about 30 to 45 minutes of walking and she is pooped.  She does well in her physical therapy sessions, but those are on hold as she is at a point where the facility wants to bank sessions for later this year.  Just in time because the gas is pretty high here in SWFL.  But we have a hybrid and I fill up every 35-40 days; don’t drive much.  We may get a "EV" vehicle this fall.... It is up to her to do her 5 or so sheets of exercises with balance board and foam pad.

So not to make this too long—3 years I have seen some wonderful things from Melissa in her recovery. I am hopeful that in another 3 she will show continued progress to her balance and memory.  And maybe, just maybe, she will be able to drive with AWL these SW Floridians who are a bit unpredictable; it’s crazy out there on the roads sometimes.  The driving experience her is like they hand out stupid pills to a select few every day.  I am sure you see this in your own driving experience.  Add a bit of age and distraction and you have a cocktail of mayhem like the TV commercial Character.  Scary stuff.

Yoiichinichiwo sugoshite kudasai

A Letter to my Friends....

 To Whom It May Concern:

I left New York City without saying goodbye to those whom I have shared a lifetime of memories and incredible experiences.  I feel sad that we couldn’t have a last face to face thank you and bon voyage.  The climate of our lives and world has created a separation due to health restrictions and regulations which I too take very seriously.  But since my Mother passed in November of 2018 I have felt separate from the world trying to mourn her loss and celebrate her victory in life.  Then as I was about to come to terms with these realities a series of life changing events thrust themselves into my life.  I was again isolated in order to focus on supporting life and a future full of uncertainty. I lost, but I gained a renewed faith in how life can evolve in a way I had not conceived of it previously.  This viral pandemic not only changed our lives but it opened the door for the fear of the unforeseen.  The Ghost of IXMAS Future is real and walking amongst us.  We can be saved by our humanity, or friendship and our wonderful memories of triumph in our relationships personal and professional.

It is the triumph, the memories, the bonds of friendship that forever link us together.  Let no one or nothing take this away from us.  We laughed, we were sad, we had fun; we worked hard side by side to create a more ideal place.  A place of comfort emotionally and visually.  I say to you my friends, students whom I had the pleasure of guiding and colleagues at work; thank you AWL for your rich collaboration and generosity.  My journey, although continues in a new place, has been wonderful; I have learned so much from you and from myself.

It would take me a very long time to sit and write a personal note, in length, to you AWL.  I do hope this in some way is sufficient and explanatory.  Melissa and I enjoy our new home and focus. Although I could use a bit more riding time, but that will come.  "M" still needs my assistance and I am also ambivalent about letting her fly out of the nest right now with a cane in hand and still not totally stable.  She is more relaxed, more retrospective and very witty these days.  A side of a person I thought I had seen AWL the acts, but this one is new and very entertaining.  We both kept each other alive during her hospital and rehab term.  Even into some dark days of late last Summer when the bonds seemed to be falling off the Ix Family clan.  WE drove to Florida and back and then down finally to live during a crazy time in life.  And I am happy to say that "M" currently has a win streak of 8 games to my 4 in Scrabble.  We sit and watch the sunset as much as we can; our home/lanai faces west, we toast it with a glass of Prosecco.  Little Nina Bell seems to enjoy her new digs.  She went from the Lake of the Ozarks in Missouri to Spring Lake NJ & NYC, not bad for a little shy rescue.  WE often speak of our little Cairo, she would have loved the AC AWL the time in Florida.  She was special, I miss her so.

I won't bore you anymore.  I enjoy writing these entries.  It is therapy for me and I need to heal also in some way.  I don't put myself before other's needs though, unless Double Dark Chocolate Milano's are the prize--WATCHOUT!  So when this world is righted, like a turtle on its back shell who needs assistance so he/she can go on its way, you are welcome to our little [peace] of heaven.  Feel free to pass this on to others.  I may miss someone who might want to know where WE are and so on....  Don't be surprised that you may receive a handwritten note from me, I love to send cards and notes.

God (or whatever you believe in or put your faith, I am with ya) Bless you AWL.  Now say GOOD NIGHT Mrs. Calabash wherever you are!

"IX + III = XII”

Has it been a year?  It AWL was in slow motion for me and still has its moments. Today we have to appreciate, Melissa says not to celebrate, the accomplishments of a person who basically learned how to do so many things we take for granted in our lives. She has many victories and some setbacks, but Melissa fought back and I am so thankful. She remains optimistic and positive about her life.  I have only seen her get very sad 2 times during this whole process. It would be so easy to get depressed and give up.  She does not!

I have seen so much in my life change since my Mother's passing in November 2018. I have had enough and when I thought I might loose Melissa I was so very, very sad. Without her I would be lost again.  She found me and never let go.  She set the rules and I followed. Melissa was/is my North star to chart my course.  Her courage and tenacity is inspirational.  And this past year it has been an honor to be by her side to assist, encourage and occasionally say to sit up and support those lungs. Oh, and don't feed the dog your dinner [hah].

So now you say, what does the next year look like for our friend? Well we will continue to chase the balance "fairy", who eludes us much. And hopefully rebuild the ability to retain short term memory (she says some funny/wacky things at times, watch out!). Her goal is to be able to not rely on me as much, but some things it might not be practical until she is stable physically and can process quickly (make decisions). I give her much room to be independent, but some days it is evident she is just not safe. Soon her goal is to toss the cane and move around with out it; I think it is possible in a month if she focuses on her exercises; we shall see. MY goal is not to have Hot Dogs every week for dinner or lunch. She LOVES Hot Dogs or bologna, YIKES!  

A year ago the Neurosurgeon said "marathon", okay I get it! It was appropriate at the time and scary to think about. I now see light at the end of a very narrow tunnel that I did not see a year ago. I had no idea what to expect or how to trust the process. I do know after seeing this woman suffer so and then rise up and become victorious over the circumstances she was dealt, that my faith has grown much. She moves forward, occasionally to the side at times physically and metaphorically, but always to the light that I see. Her compass is set for a course to a new path and direction in her life.  

I am convinced that she was spared to tell her story as she only knows it; when she is ready and in her own time. We as a people know so very little about Brain injuries and rely on studies and science. But if the information is generated from a person who has experienced and overcome, then that becomes hope for those who suffer a TBI and for those who heal. Melissa has a gift in the making.

"Let us run with patience the race that is set before us." Hebrews 12:1. 

 p.s.  Please forgive me Kate Turabian I did not double Space after a period like I was taught.

IX Months, stay tuned....

"IX months”

"Beware the ides of March" came and went without any major events.  And that stupid "rat" in Staten Island said Spring is coming. Brrrrr.  It is hard to believe that it has been IX months since the episode that began this journey.  So many positive steps forward with the aid of the Megan Gepp, Kessler Rehab personnel and support at home especially from "Nina Belle", the comfort dog/beggar queen.

Melissa is trying to transition to the use of a cane with "spotting".  Her balance is so much better but still she still has moments of instability. Together we are trying to work on that, and so are the Therapists at Kessler.  Sometimes she gets ahead of herself and moves too fast or she turns a bit quickly and gets her feet tangled.  If you haven't seen her since October or even January, you would be amazed.

Short term memory is not so great still.  I am trying to get her to write things down in her Red Organizer Book so she can go back and look at it.  That is a work in progress for sure, but I am not worried because some things she can recall with a bit of processing.    

Long term memory seems to be very good.  So that is a victory.

Getting back into the workplace is still "to be determined'.  I don't want to put her in a situation where she might embarrass herself if she cannot remember from one minute to the next what was said.  This happens sometimes even when we talk about daily plans or goals.  I will try to do this in  easy steps.  She acknowledges that she has a huge deficit here, but is willing to work on this with assistance.

The other day she asked me when she could drive.  OMG, that would be scary.  Then she got a folder at Kessler on taking driving lessons.  I will look into the process of learning how to drive again after a TMI/Stroke.  I told Melissa, "let's focus on walking without assistance first and then you can move onto driving a car."  Truly, driving a car is not important now.  The ability to walk down the street standing tall, face forward without people as "spotters" is paramount.

I don't know where we are in the marathon except it is a challenge to stay hydrated and fueled so we can finish.  My legs hurt, my shoes are making blisters and my singlet is rubbing me the wrong way.  Got any bandaids?  I get out and ride with my NJ League NICA MTB team, "Jersey Shore Tidal Waves"; and Saturday had a good day on the road bike.  Our commitment to overcoming has not waned.  Our goal is still a trip in August if Melissa is more independent/agile, the virus scare is over and toilet paper is plentiful again.  Time will tell on those fronts.  

Lastly, I just want to say I have only heard Melissa say once, during the past 9 months, that she was overwhelmed and disappointed.  She bounced back the next day mentally and spiritually. The Melissa pre June 15 was optimistic and tried very hard to rise to the top, see the good in everything; "no negativity".  That has not changed, it is a part of her character.  We grow together and in the end this will make us even stronger.

sIX Months

"6 months does not a year make”

Changed a Neil Simon Line from Barefoot in the Park, but it applies.  It has been a long haul, but yet WE have only just begun.  Melissa is doing awesome work at PT; working on the speech, cognitive and physical skills.  She is getting much better at dressing herself and getting around with some assistance ("spotting" her like in tumbling class).  After being home for a bout 3 weeks some of the circuitry connected and She made some big leaps.  Lately we have been on a plateau, but that is fine I will take that over the suffering I saw this woman endure.  

I don't know what to expect in the next few months, except more marginal gains that add up to a huge step up.  No pressure, no worries, "time and patience" as Dr. Liefer the Neurologist said last time we visited him.  I knew that from the beginning--"Marathon" as Dr. Eisenbrock the neurosurgeon said to me in his first sentence.  No hello, no how did this happen, just we need to get your wife in surgery to save her life.

Melissa is surprising in what she says at times.  Sometimes does not know what the day it is or date and then says something very wise and profound.  I enjoy her company and am not frustrated by the care giving tasks I perform/assist her with.  Thanks to my sister, Angela, she showed me the way to do this and how you have to "suck it up" as Coach Kiblai said in Junior High.  Melissa enjoys her days with Megan, when I go to NYC to spend a day in the office.  AND once in a while I get to ride my bike.  Not worried, those days will come, remember "patience and time".  Thank you to our neighbors Meghan Frost and Mary Lonsdale for their assistance over these past few months. 

Melissa is focused on goals we have talked about for the end of Summer.  This will be a HUGE task, but WE are willing to "go for the Gold" as they say.  

And on a very solemn note, WE both miss our precious little Cairo who went to the BIG green meadow just before heaven.  She will be waiting for us when me make our journey to the next realization.  I miss her every day.  So many things remind me of her and the way she approached her life, never complained and always hanging with US, her pack.  Melissa said she is not able to process it yet, which is fine all in good time.  We still have Nina Belle, "Forty Ninuh" is not Cairo but she is loving and gives Melissa comfort each day sleeping/resting by her side.

Thank you AWL for your prayers and good "vibrations" for Melissa.  Don't Stop NOW, there is more work to be done.  But know that if two or more agree on anything that they ask, then it shall be done for them.  By faith, positive thoughts, whatever your belief is; continue to believe in a complete healing.

Cairo PotterIx

1/1/2007--12/1/2019

We love you so much Rhoady Rho

Our Sweet Little Girl

 "Our Sweet Little Girl"

Our hearts are broken and life is empty today after the loss of "Our Sweet Little Girl."  Some would say she was just a dog, but to those who knew, Cairo was more than that to Melissa and I.  She was a HUGE part of our family who we loved so very much.  When we were apart the 3 of us could not wait to get back together in the comfort of our friendship, trust and love.  I knew the first day we saw her at Happy Tails Rescue Center that it was a done deal; that dog is coming home with us. She was saved then, at almost age 2, by Rescue Ridge from most certain euthanization due to the fact she was found on the side of the road. She had been wandering around for a week or so.  Her former owner was not to be found.  And who knows the story there, AWL rescues come with a background of mystery and "baggage".  She was well trained and very smart and had a HUGE appetite.

Melissa and I have had Cairo 10 years and 8 days in our lives.  She definitely helped me on my bad days at work, in life and most recently dealing with Melissa's road to recovery.  But she had been through much in the past year with 2 operations. I thought she might stay with us longer even after I got the news that she had cancer. In August our Vet tried to extract it all, but it was not possible.  The inevitable was always looming in the background.  Myself, I was very selfish thinking she was going to beat it and if you saw her you would say she was "fit as a fiddle." Her 13th birthday was only a month away. 

I have been lucky to know 3 dogs that their personality went WAY beyond just a loving pet. Jingles, Benedict and Cairo had true personality and connected with their family in many ways. "The Pupperooni" as I named her, will forever be remembered for her protection of her family, played hard and rough, marching to the park down the street because she wanted to go, she loved to run in the woods like a "woodland nymph", very obedient except when someone made deliveries at the office, she loved to be loved but did not give out many kisses AND for such a little girl she had a very healthy appetite--a sly beggar finding the weakest link at the table.

I was with her to hold her and comfort her as she slipped away from this life into her next realization.  I have never experienced so much sorrow as I did last night knowing that Cairo would not be coming home with me to be with her family.  She will be waiting for Melissa and I in heaven. In the meantime in that great lovely lush meadow I know she is free of pain, has her eye-sight back and is having fun.  "There will be plenty to eat Cairo so slow down.  Enjoy the heavenly treats, they are plentiful."  You will be loved by Us until our time comes.  Nobody could ever replace the love, friendship and comfort you gave Mommy and I.  Cairo you were truly one of a kind, a real personality that was full of energy and life.  She was the sweetest little pup I ever knew.  You will be missed.  

Cairo PotterIx 

January 1, 2007 - December 1, 2019

If you care to make a donation in Cairo's name to Rescue Ridge or Monmouth SPCA it would be appreciated.  Save another life who will save others.

https://www.rescueridge.com/general-donation 

https://www.monmouthcountyspca.org/support/