There’s no place like home....
There’s no place like home.... Famous words spoken by a girl from Kansas separated from her family and home roots. Well “M” wants to go home. Melissa in here delirium keeps talking about going to 308. “ Get the car and we can go to 308”. “Is Mom and Dad going to come pick us up and we can go home?” This is all in a very low breathy tone hard to understand at times. The brain, along with the drugs, have rewired her memory to “hang out” in a place of comfort. That is good, because ICU with the beeping machines, visitations asking questions, performing motor skill commands, plus the “Ice Station Zebra” temps make it a place of anxiety. AND if you have never been in a hospital for a sleep-over, well there is no rest. You need to figure out their daily visit, cleaning, blood giving and food delivering schedule and then plan your time to grab some shut eye. It is part of the routine of care to get you out and well.
Today we took a big step backward.... She is not suffering like yesterday which was heart-breaking. Her vital signs are good, but new concerns have been thrown in the mix (pardon the acronym); like fluid in the lungs (pneumonia) and dialing in the fever caused by the blood in the brain and stabilizing the blood pressure. The energy she spent on breathing and shivering yesterday really weakened her. She is back on the ventilator to assist her breathing and give her a better chance to heal in other areas like the brain which is not well. They are also sedating her again so she can relax. The body temp/fever is down and the BP is much better. M responds to the commands even in her somewhat sleepy condition.
Yes, I want Melissa home and our life we thought we’d have in the weeks of Summer. In fact tomorrow is the first official day of Summer so go out and enjoy the longest day. I realize each day that this is our reality for now. You cannot cheat the “course” of healing, especially the one she is currently enrolled. Melissa has a long road ahead to ascend, between 6 & 8% gradient. She is strong and tough, and hard headed don’t forget, determined to get home even if it is in her subconscious or rewired memory.
So one step at a time as they say—lose a bit today so we can win tomorrow; you know the cliches. I believe she is in good hands physically and spiritually, I am not worried just cautious when people are not realistic about the “process”. This is not one week and back home fans. Extra innings will ensue.
*it is cold in the hospital and yes even Chilly Willy would be making a fire.
Today we took a big step backward.... She is not suffering like yesterday which was heart-breaking. Her vital signs are good, but new concerns have been thrown in the mix (pardon the acronym); like fluid in the lungs (pneumonia) and dialing in the fever caused by the blood in the brain and stabilizing the blood pressure. The energy she spent on breathing and shivering yesterday really weakened her. She is back on the ventilator to assist her breathing and give her a better chance to heal in other areas like the brain which is not well. They are also sedating her again so she can relax. The body temp/fever is down and the BP is much better. M responds to the commands even in her somewhat sleepy condition.
Yes, I want Melissa home and our life we thought we’d have in the weeks of Summer. In fact tomorrow is the first official day of Summer so go out and enjoy the longest day. I realize each day that this is our reality for now. You cannot cheat the “course” of healing, especially the one she is currently enrolled. Melissa has a long road ahead to ascend, between 6 & 8% gradient. She is strong and tough, and hard headed don’t forget, determined to get home even if it is in her subconscious or rewired memory.
So one step at a time as they say—lose a bit today so we can win tomorrow; you know the cliches. I believe she is in good hands physically and spiritually, I am not worried just cautious when people are not realistic about the “process”. This is not one week and back home fans. Extra innings will ensue.
*it is cold in the hospital and yes even Chilly Willy would be making a fire.
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