A Full Week in....

It has been a full week since this journey began.  M has work to do, but she loves her work, maybe not this type of work but it is important.  Her eyes are open at times looking far away.  She is fidgeting a bit more, they say her fever might be breaking.  Hopefully she is turning the corner so we only have 10 things on the “punch list” instead of many.  I can tell you she is receiving EXCELLENT care from her Team.  They are very positive about how she is doing, but rest is important in the healing process.

My Mother was an ICU Nurse and she loved the work: challenging cases to turn around and get them on a healing path.  My Sister, Angela, witnessed Mom’s dedication to the patients she took care of when she too worked at the hospital.  Compassion, encouragement, mental strength and dedication to the art of healing is what it takes.

So heal Melissa heal your body, let it do its magic.  Our bodies are fascinating machines and know what needs to be done.

Sorry I don’t have anything more clever to say.  My sense of humor seems to be spotty like the internet signal at 308 when we want to watch Netflix.  Better call Optimum, they have it AWL under control.....?

*To AWL well wishers and care giving people, our refrigerators are full of food.  We probably have enough body fuel to outlast another attack from General Santa Anna. So until further notice or special request we have food to eat.  Thank you so much for your love, thoughtfulness and generosity.

“Jimmy Jack is cleaning plates to help around the house”

We interrupt this regularly scheduled....

Sorry for the brief public announcement, and I don’t want to hurt feelings or make anyone mad, but here are some realities.

I know everyone is anxious to speak to and visit Melissa, she is a very social and interactive person with friends and families.  But (there’s always buts) this is a critical stage of her process to heal in ICU. So there will be no visitations unless it is immediate family. She is sedated, resting.  A cue of well wishers is not allowed due to the possibility of introducing germs which might lead to infection.  The risk of infection is possible in the cleanest of hospitals.  So be patient your time will come.  #process #marathon #breathe #positiveenergy.

For those who have sent cards to Melissa, thank you.  I will hold on to them until she is able to read again.  She can hardly keep her eyes open to see even me, but I have a scary face.  Wait till she gets to the next step out of the ICU and is alert.

Finally, no flowers in the ICU.  Either send to the house or wait for the next step in the process.  She loves flowers in the ground and really loves trees.  So donate your money to the Spring Lake Shade Tree Committee.  That would make her very happy.

I appreciate the support you give to Melissa.  She is getting her “100 fold return” as promised.  Love to AWL

*Cairo asked me to petition you AWL for more treats.  Since her Mummy has been gone it is like a no treat “boot camp”. 

Isaiah 53:4-6

A very good friend sent me this today, thank you.  I am not much of a preacher.  I don’t “walk the walk, talk the talk” like I should and have done in another life time.  But this selection from the Bible really spoke to me today.  Melissa is not a Bible scholar or even was taught the many stories I learned in Sunday School as a boy.  In fact I am in a way making her more aware of what a resource the Bible can be to guide you in life.  Every time I take Cairo in her “roller doller” down into the subway for travel, I think of the man who was lowered through the hole in the roof so he could see Jesus and be healed.  Not that going down into the subway is a healing experience—it is an experience with the delays, crowding, uncleanliness and that guy in the end seat is staring at me wrapped in hefty trash bags wearing an orange traffic cone for a hat.  YIKES! 

I know in our modern society we AWL believe in something that guides us in our daily journey.  I am not suggesting that you follow Bible stories and Jesus, but what I am saying is there is a force out there that is bigger and more comprehensive, that has a plan.  So if you are getting good vibes from you local Mr. Softie truck person and that is working then go for it. Oh and by the way make sure your cone was protected by paper and not touched by that person.  Just saying....

I believe that Melissa is in good hands of healing on many levels.  Her “will and staying power” can guide and determine the outcome.  She can receive the medication, treatment and supernatural interaction—but she is going to need to spiritually receive that in her long road to wellness/overcoming.  Natural united with  Supernatural, it s a thing—watch-out.

Today has been a very peaceful day as they give her body time to Heal.  Let those bodily apparatus (lungs) get reset to breathe with confidence.  Let the swelling in her brain continue to diminish incrementally.  She has good neurological activity and she is still responsive to commands for motor skill activities.  Her vitals signs are good along with body temp.  I feel a peace come over me that is comforting and I hope Melissa is feeling the same.  She is breathing with some assist, I am “breathing”.  I have seen some Medical Miracles in my life and I know there is a force out there who cares, who is watching.  Hopefully it isn’t Mrs. Tucker, she was tough love in High School.

*I grew up in the Joseph Smith Wing of the Mormon Church.  We went to church Sunday day/night—Wednesday prayer meetings.  I had a very determined Baptist Grandmother.  I loved my time in the full gospel church attending with my Parents.  I may not be outwardly a supreme example of a person who believes, but....

There’s no place like home....

There’s no place like home.... Famous words spoken by a girl from Kansas separated from her family and home roots. Well “M” wants to go home.  Melissa in here delirium keeps talking about going to 308. “ Get the car and we can go to 308”.  “Is Mom and Dad going to come pick us up and we can go home?”  This is all in a very low breathy tone hard to understand at times. The brain, along with the drugs, have rewired her memory to “hang out” in a place of comfort.  That is good, because ICU with the beeping machines, visitations asking questions, performing motor skill commands, plus the “Ice Station Zebra” temps make it a place of anxiety.  AND if you have never been in a hospital for a sleep-over, well there is no  rest.  You need to figure out their daily visit, cleaning, blood giving and food delivering schedule and then plan your time to grab some shut eye.  It is part of the routine of care to get you out and well.

Today we took a big step backward....  She is not suffering like yesterday which was heart-breaking.  Her vital signs are good, but new concerns have been thrown in the mix (pardon the acronym); like fluid in the lungs (pneumonia) and dialing in the fever caused by the blood in the brain and stabilizing the blood pressure.  The energy she spent on breathing and shivering yesterday really weakened her.  She is back on the ventilator to assist her breathing and  give her a better chance to heal in other areas like the brain which is not well.  They are also sedating her again so she can relax. The body temp/fever is down and the BP is much better.  M responds to the commands even in her somewhat sleepy condition.  

Yes, I want Melissa home and our life we thought we’d have in the weeks of Summer. In fact tomorrow is the first official day of Summer so go out and enjoy the longest day.  I realize each day that this is our reality for now.  You cannot cheat the “course” of healing, especially the one she is currently enrolled. Melissa has a long road ahead to ascend, between 6 & 8% gradient.  She is strong and tough, and hard headed don’t forget, determined to get home even if it is in her subconscious or rewired memory.

So one step at a time as they say—lose a bit today so we can win tomorrow; you know the cliches.  I believe she is in good hands physically and spiritually, I am not worried just cautious when people are not realistic about the “process”.  This is not one week and back home fans.  Extra innings will ensue.

*it is cold in the hospital and yes even Chilly Willy would be making a fire.

“Your Daily M”

“A Tough Day in the Saddle”

Every day is new and there may be setbacks as she climbs up to the top again.  Her body is working so hard.  The medical team has to assess the risks & rewards in recovery.

Melissa is in the middle of the peloton during the stage of her “tour” where we see how her body performs under the demands of the pace.  What is her fitness?  She was doing very well yesterday, but today sliding back in the pack trying to conserve energy for the attacks to come. Basically M’s body is overloaded with demands to heal the brain and make the swelling go down. She is riding with a head wind.

Started today with a fever which is common at times with her type of brain trauma.  They are checking for any signs of infection, but none so far after Labs. Vital signs are good.  She is more awake but still in the land of Grogg still climbing and fighting.  However she is more talkative, when prompted.  She first thought I was Cairo, but then knew my name.  M knows her right from left.  Her age is 25:  spot on! Knows who the president is with a sneer.  She was asked what year it was and she said 1925.  I don’t have a problem with that I am always trying to write the wrong year down, as this year is WAY to crazy.  Maybe she thinks she is on Long Island waiting for Jay Gatsby.  She also said she was trying to get the pool cleaned; is this Gatsby or Sunset Boulevard.

She has to breathe strong and deeply—keep the oxygen flowing.  Any oxygen level below 89-90 is not acceptable.  She has had some problems with that today but her caregivers have figured that out with a bigger nasal tube apparatus. But that nasty shivering is robbing energy needed to assist the healing process in her brain.  It is so hard to see at times, but I give her words of encouragement, while she is telling me her schedule for the Boston Playground.

I sit here and fight with her trying to assist her like a good domestique, “stay on my loving wheel and follow me to the top.”  I will navigate the peloton, AWL she has to do is relax and stay within herself and follow the “parcours” of love you ALL send.

*we may need to change our cassette from 11/28 to a 11/32 and spin more instead of grinding it out—it will save energy and keep her fresh

“Your Daily M”

“The linguine is not cooked correctly”

Today was another day on “Mr. Robert’s ship the USS Reluctant” (real naval vessel was the Hewell AG-145).  And if you know the story line, nothing much happened.  Good.  She is healing at the rate her body can repair, which is good!  M is getting fed, basically Ensure until she can swallow and take on more solids.  No Inatesso Pizza Parties yet, but I cannot wait to share that event with her and a glass of w[h]ine if permitted.  So she is sleeping, breathing and working on controlling her snoring [hah]!  The Pupperooni is a CHAMPION snorer, “Moaning Myrtle” I call her.

Her Neuro-Sturgeon, Dr. Eisenbrock, came by to see Melissa.  He said the aneurysm material (I may not be a smart man but I am not a doctor, I am a set designer, Jenny) basically popped out at him when he went into that area during the procedure.  Maybe not the gusto of the scene at the dinner table in the movie “Alien”, but it released itself.  He was once again, selling the process as a “marathon, not a sprint”.  Let’s AWL PRAY it is not 26.2 miles but 13.1.  That is up to the healing angels or forces of the universe (whatever you prescribe to).  Do we capitalize the word “angels” if they are not in Los Angeles, Anaheim or California? (Sorry for the baseball reference).  So the Doctor is slowly increasing the saline flow to help get that swelling down in a very gradual manner.  He was very personable and informative.  He also said that the procedure went well Saturday but every case is different.  Our brains are the same yes but there are variations etc.  Maybe that is why Melissa cannot upload photos to the HIP MutherSHIP and I can [hah].  But she knows her playground designs, plant material and how to be a REAL professional.  I am learning from her ever so slowly, but like a sponge—and my name ain’t Bob, and there will be no musical on my watch.

She now has a EEG machine attached to her head and a head band that looks kinda HIP.  Picture the Fife player in the Archibald Willard painting. M would not like the look unless it were Halloween or a scarf from Hermès.  This will measure her brainwave activity.  They fitted me with it first to test the machine and told me to get a job on the TV show “Walking Dead”.

I heard her say “yes” in a very breathy shallow tone, almost in a Lauren Bacall way.  Which is SO encouraging and she recognized me when she had her eyes open.  She also said something like, “the Linguine is not cooked correctly” repeatedly. That is Grogg for, “is Mom cooking dinner.” She is still groggy and resting those brown eyes until it is “show time”.

These people are taking great care of our M.  She will never know how much they do or the depth of their persistence to get her back on track.  Dedicated professionals taking care of a real care giver/pro.

*For those who are reading, go to your Primary Care Physician and get a complete physical.  Don’t wait 3 years, because your body changes with age, your diet and the stress you load into it.  Hypertension is not a good thing.

Your Daily “M”

As you AWL know by now [or not], Melissa suffered a Cerebral Hemorrhage this past Saturday about 2:20pm. She was taken to the ER by the local EMS. "M" was evaluated very quickly and then was whisked off to the ER for a surgery to relieve the swelling in her brain. Not before I had to answer questions, sign papers, evaluate numbers on the success of the procedure, think if I had given Cairo her eye drops, checked my latest stock options and placed my bet on the local Monmouth Horse Race. It was intense, while holding back tears of fear and emotion, trying to be strong thinking clearly—a good advocate for my wife's health.

After 2 3/4 days in the hospital your prayers, healing love, and good vibes have worked.  Keep it up! Melissa is off the ventilator breathing on her own. The swelling in the brain is a bit less; could be better—but WE will take whatever we can get right now.  AND she has good motor skills; to the point of trying to get out of bed.  Today we won the Stage or least we were on the podium. Thank you AWL.

However, WE are not out of the woods here. This will be a marathon of sorts, much still remains unknown about balance, coordination and speech.  One day at a time is how I lived 2 Summers ago with a hematoma in my leg. Patience is not one of Melissa’s most reliable traits.  So I will give her AWL I have, to overcome this event and return her to a rich life of creativity and giving.  She is tough. A warrior. Very fit. So stubborn at times.  She has many years on this planet remaining.  I will do my best to keep her here for us to enjoy as daughter-care giver, wife, friend, sister, colleague and designer.

This will be a better way for me to reach out to people. So pass it on.  If I have forgotten anyone please be patient, our chain of communication captains will assist. I have friends, but Melissa HAS friends.  So keep praying, believing and encouraging her to rise up and be victorious over this situation.

p.s. Thank you for your flowers, but no flowers are allowed in the ICU.  In fact I am not sure why they let me in to the ICU. Send donations instead to the Spring Lake Shade Tree Committee.  Melissa is an advocate for Trees, more trees, we can not have enough....And Cairo could use a few more treats now that her Mummy is away—NOT.
https://www.springlakeboro.org/boards/shade-tree-committee.html