"IX + III = XII”

Has it been a year?  It AWL was in slow motion for me and still has its moments. Today we have to appreciate, Melissa says not to celebrate, the accomplishments of a person who basically learned how to do so many things we take for granted in our lives. She has many victories and some setbacks, but Melissa fought back and I am so thankful. She remains optimistic and positive about her life.  I have only seen her get very sad 2 times during this whole process. It would be so easy to get depressed and give up.  She does not!

I have seen so much in my life change since my Mother's passing in November 2018. I have had enough and when I thought I might loose Melissa I was so very, very sad. Without her I would be lost again.  She found me and never let go.  She set the rules and I followed. Melissa was/is my North star to chart my course.  Her courage and tenacity is inspirational.  And this past year it has been an honor to be by her side to assist, encourage and occasionally say to sit up and support those lungs. Oh, and don't feed the dog your dinner [hah].

So now you say, what does the next year look like for our friend? Well we will continue to chase the balance "fairy", who eludes us much. And hopefully rebuild the ability to retain short term memory (she says some funny/wacky things at times, watch out!). Her goal is to be able to not rely on me as much, but some things it might not be practical until she is stable physically and can process quickly (make decisions). I give her much room to be independent, but some days it is evident she is just not safe. Soon her goal is to toss the cane and move around with out it; I think it is possible in a month if she focuses on her exercises; we shall see. MY goal is not to have Hot Dogs every week for dinner or lunch. She LOVES Hot Dogs or bologna, YIKES!  

A year ago the Neurosurgeon said "marathon", okay I get it! It was appropriate at the time and scary to think about. I now see light at the end of a very narrow tunnel that I did not see a year ago. I had no idea what to expect or how to trust the process. I do know after seeing this woman suffer so and then rise up and become victorious over the circumstances she was dealt, that my faith has grown much. She moves forward, occasionally to the side at times physically and metaphorically, but always to the light that I see. Her compass is set for a course to a new path and direction in her life.  

I am convinced that she was spared to tell her story as she only knows it; when she is ready and in her own time. We as a people know so very little about Brain injuries and rely on studies and science. But if the information is generated from a person who has experienced and overcome, then that becomes hope for those who suffer a TBI and for those who heal. Melissa has a gift in the making.

"Let us run with patience the race that is set before us." Hebrews 12:1. 

 p.s.  Please forgive me Kate Turabian I did not double Space after a period like I was taught.

IX Months, stay tuned....

"IX months”

"Beware the ides of March" came and went without any major events.  And that stupid "rat" in Staten Island said Spring is coming. Brrrrr.  It is hard to believe that it has been IX months since the episode that began this journey.  So many positive steps forward with the aid of the Megan Gepp, Kessler Rehab personnel and support at home especially from "Nina Belle", the comfort dog/beggar queen.

Melissa is trying to transition to the use of a cane with "spotting".  Her balance is so much better but still she still has moments of instability. Together we are trying to work on that, and so are the Therapists at Kessler.  Sometimes she gets ahead of herself and moves too fast or she turns a bit quickly and gets her feet tangled.  If you haven't seen her since October or even January, you would be amazed.

Short term memory is not so great still.  I am trying to get her to write things down in her Red Organizer Book so she can go back and look at it.  That is a work in progress for sure, but I am not worried because some things she can recall with a bit of processing.    

Long term memory seems to be very good.  So that is a victory.

Getting back into the workplace is still "to be determined'.  I don't want to put her in a situation where she might embarrass herself if she cannot remember from one minute to the next what was said.  This happens sometimes even when we talk about daily plans or goals.  I will try to do this in  easy steps.  She acknowledges that she has a huge deficit here, but is willing to work on this with assistance.

The other day she asked me when she could drive.  OMG, that would be scary.  Then she got a folder at Kessler on taking driving lessons.  I will look into the process of learning how to drive again after a TMI/Stroke.  I told Melissa, "let's focus on walking without assistance first and then you can move onto driving a car."  Truly, driving a car is not important now.  The ability to walk down the street standing tall, face forward without people as "spotters" is paramount.

I don't know where we are in the marathon except it is a challenge to stay hydrated and fueled so we can finish.  My legs hurt, my shoes are making blisters and my singlet is rubbing me the wrong way.  Got any bandaids?  I get out and ride with my NJ League NICA MTB team, "Jersey Shore Tidal Waves"; and Saturday had a good day on the road bike.  Our commitment to overcoming has not waned.  Our goal is still a trip in August if Melissa is more independent/agile, the virus scare is over and toilet paper is plentiful again.  Time will tell on those fronts.  

Lastly, I just want to say I have only heard Melissa say once, during the past 9 months, that she was overwhelmed and disappointed.  She bounced back the next day mentally and spiritually. The Melissa pre June 15 was optimistic and tried very hard to rise to the top, see the good in everything; "no negativity".  That has not changed, it is a part of her character.  We grow together and in the end this will make us even stronger.