sIX Months

"6 months does not a year make”

Changed a Neil Simon Line from Barefoot in the Park, but it applies.  It has been a long haul, but yet WE have only just begun.  Melissa is doing awesome work at PT; working on the speech, cognitive and physical skills.  She is getting much better at dressing herself and getting around with some assistance ("spotting" her like in tumbling class).  After being home for a bout 3 weeks some of the circuitry connected and She made some big leaps.  Lately we have been on a plateau, but that is fine I will take that over the suffering I saw this woman endure.  

I don't know what to expect in the next few months, except more marginal gains that add up to a huge step up.  No pressure, no worries, "time and patience" as Dr. Liefer the Neurologist said last time we visited him.  I knew that from the beginning--"Marathon" as Dr. Eisenbrock the neurosurgeon said to me in his first sentence.  No hello, no how did this happen, just we need to get your wife in surgery to save her life.

Melissa is surprising in what she says at times.  Sometimes does not know what the day it is or date and then says something very wise and profound.  I enjoy her company and am not frustrated by the care giving tasks I perform/assist her with.  Thanks to my sister, Angela, she showed me the way to do this and how you have to "suck it up" as Coach Kiblai said in Junior High.  Melissa enjoys her days with Megan, when I go to NYC to spend a day in the office.  AND once in a while I get to ride my bike.  Not worried, those days will come, remember "patience and time".  Thank you to our neighbors Meghan Frost and Mary Lonsdale for their assistance over these past few months. 

Melissa is focused on goals we have talked about for the end of Summer.  This will be a HUGE task, but WE are willing to "go for the Gold" as they say.  

And on a very solemn note, WE both miss our precious little Cairo who went to the BIG green meadow just before heaven.  She will be waiting for us when me make our journey to the next realization.  I miss her every day.  So many things remind me of her and the way she approached her life, never complained and always hanging with US, her pack.  Melissa said she is not able to process it yet, which is fine all in good time.  We still have Nina Belle, "Forty Ninuh" is not Cairo but she is loving and gives Melissa comfort each day sleeping/resting by her side.

Thank you AWL for your prayers and good "vibrations" for Melissa.  Don't Stop NOW, there is more work to be done.  But know that if two or more agree on anything that they ask, then it shall be done for them.  By faith, positive thoughts, whatever your belief is; continue to believe in a complete healing.

Cairo PotterIx

1/1/2007--12/1/2019

We love you so much Rhoady Rho

Our Sweet Little Girl

 "Our Sweet Little Girl"

Our hearts are broken and life is empty today after the loss of "Our Sweet Little Girl."  Some would say she was just a dog, but to those who knew, Cairo was more than that to Melissa and I.  She was a HUGE part of our family who we loved so very much.  When we were apart the 3 of us could not wait to get back together in the comfort of our friendship, trust and love.  I knew the first day we saw her at Happy Tails Rescue Center that it was a done deal; that dog is coming home with us. She was saved then, at almost age 2, by Rescue Ridge from most certain euthanization due to the fact she was found on the side of the road. She had been wandering around for a week or so.  Her former owner was not to be found.  And who knows the story there, AWL rescues come with a background of mystery and "baggage".  She was well trained and very smart and had a HUGE appetite.

Melissa and I have had Cairo 10 years and 8 days in our lives.  She definitely helped me on my bad days at work, in life and most recently dealing with Melissa's road to recovery.  But she had been through much in the past year with 2 operations. I thought she might stay with us longer even after I got the news that she had cancer. In August our Vet tried to extract it all, but it was not possible.  The inevitable was always looming in the background.  Myself, I was very selfish thinking she was going to beat it and if you saw her you would say she was "fit as a fiddle." Her 13th birthday was only a month away. 

I have been lucky to know 3 dogs that their personality went WAY beyond just a loving pet. Jingles, Benedict and Cairo had true personality and connected with their family in many ways. "The Pupperooni" as I named her, will forever be remembered for her protection of her family, played hard and rough, marching to the park down the street because she wanted to go, she loved to run in the woods like a "woodland nymph", very obedient except when someone made deliveries at the office, she loved to be loved but did not give out many kisses AND for such a little girl she had a very healthy appetite--a sly beggar finding the weakest link at the table.

I was with her to hold her and comfort her as she slipped away from this life into her next realization.  I have never experienced so much sorrow as I did last night knowing that Cairo would not be coming home with me to be with her family.  She will be waiting for Melissa and I in heaven. In the meantime in that great lovely lush meadow I know she is free of pain, has her eye-sight back and is having fun.  "There will be plenty to eat Cairo so slow down.  Enjoy the heavenly treats, they are plentiful."  You will be loved by Us until our time comes.  Nobody could ever replace the love, friendship and comfort you gave Mommy and I.  Cairo you were truly one of a kind, a real personality that was full of energy and life.  She was the sweetest little pup I ever knew.  You will be missed.  

Cairo PotterIx 

January 1, 2007 - December 1, 2019

If you care to make a donation in Cairo's name to Rescue Ridge or Monmouth SPCA it would be appreciated.  Save another life who will save others.

https://www.rescueridge.com/general-donation 

https://www.monmouthcountyspca.org/support/ 

Hasta La Vista....

"El Fin”

By no means is Melissa out of the woods when it comes to balance/mobility or dodging swallowing the wrong way and choking, but she is getting there slowly.  Remember I said small steps, marginal gains, long journey and marathon.  She will eventually be released to the next phase of her healing, but not until she is safe and will not hurt herself.  I have nothing else to report or write about and therefore.  I am done.

So this is my final submission.  Remember the old Virginia Slims slogan, "you've come a long way baby."  Well Melissa has done exactly that, from fighting for her life beginning June 15th to now.  I am proud of her tenacity, but I am dealing with a Fox who can be very sly.  She will be fine in the end, when that is WE do not know.  She may want to return to her old life or make changes (I hope) WE shall see.

It is interesting to know how many new people I have reached via the assistance of those who passed the “Daily M” along.  I am so happy to know that AWL were informed of their good friend’s journey.  Thank you so much. This was very therapeutic and creative for me who did not pay attention in high school English class because I was going to play football or baseball in college.  And if you see Mr. Livingston my College Prep English teacher, tell him that I did need to read Hamlet and know what a dangling particible is now.  Oh, and tell him I am not a clown like he predicted so many times that year in class. 

If you want to reach me, I will be in Pocatello, Idaho.  

p.s. Melissa has opened AWL your cards & letters sent since “June-ish”. She is really touched by your well wishes, support in tough times and love.  She thanks you very much and will be corresponding with you soon—no texts, no emails, no social media but the old fashioned way via USPS.

"Good night Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are."

Elvis has left the building.

6 weeks....

“6 weeks does not a therapy regime make”

Today it is 98 days in hospitals AND next week on Tuesday 6 weeks at HELEN Hayes.  That is 4 weeks of Acute Therapy and 2 weeks of Subacute Therapy.  That means 4 hours whittled down to 2 hours. [hope I have peaked the interest of the “Numbers People” who read this].  The next 2 weeks will be crucial for Melissa.  She has to pass a swallow test for solid foods & liquids.  Work on her core for stability for the mobility.  And get rid of the stomach “peg” to supplement feeding.  She is eating purée food now, and had a test grilled cheese today with MUCH coaching from her Speech Therapist.  Melissa doesn’t like the food and I said this isn’t a 4 Star Michelin restaurant.  I taste the food and it is better than NY Presbyterian which is rated #5 in the universe.  Although my Mother claimed it was the filthiest hospital she has ever been to.  She was a very tough nurse and knew the profession of giving care. [tough love ya’ll] 

If by chance you get a “wacka-doodle” (love this Liz thnx) phone call, TXT, Email, sorry.  Melissa right now suffers from “sundowners” (a form of dementia). I gave her the Smart Phone but....  Might be taking it away soon if this gets worse.  Dementia is a byproduct of the injury, but could change with time as the brain heals.  I witnessed this in 3 generations of my family and one in another’s, the chapter has not ended on that one.  I am dealing with a lovely person but when the clock hits 3:30-4pm it begins.  

Melissa and I played cards today.  It was fun, she was really focused and calculating.  She lost twice but really won, she did not count her cards correctly.  So it shows me her memory is good in some areas, but needs more time to heal.  She cracks me up, so serious about winning.  HAH.  We have lovely conversations about back packs/luggage she says is on the top floor with money hidden in them/it.  Melissa said she saw my Mother and Father the other day with my sister, Angela.  I asked her what Mom was wearing, she said she looked good.  My Father was nervous, talking much.  Was it a dream or a visitation....  if it was a visitation, “Mom and  Dad can you contact me, I have many questions about what lies beyond.” 

To Sum it up 6 weeks could evolve into 8 or 9 weeks in West Haverstraw NY.  Got to Swallow, chew solid food, find your stability/mobility and no more feeding tubes in the tummy.

*pray for healing in the brain, no more dementia

**start eating food to gain strength, accept the quality of food, as my Grandfather would say, “We have plenty to eat and nothing to waste.” 

No place like home....

"I want to go home”

“There’s no place like home.”  Immortal words uttered by Dorothy Gale after a cyclone ripped through her Aunt and Uncle’s farm.  But what was her reality when she finally made it back to the place she yearned and hoped for:  more of the Great Depression, hard work in a bleak landscape, maybe life would change after her fantastical journey to a colorful and foreign reality.  An experience like that should temper your life and your choices right?

Melissa also wants to come home.  Her “Toto” is waiting her to comfort her on a journey to the unknown.  She has stairs to conquer, bathrooms not equipped for her special needs in her current state of disability (which will change slowly), a rambling living space designed for those who are very mobile.  Nobody ever thinks of creating their dream home to accommodate situations that develop through aging or bad luck disability.  Melissa and I have often discussed designing a home with such features “just in case”.  I have seen these events occur in my family and Melissa’s and now it has struck like a bolt of lightning on our wonderful life together.  

I am very good at making something out of nothing, my theater craft and my childhood experience and creativity will come in handy.  You take what you have and you adapt.  My Parents taught me at a very early age, you can make a situation a positive one despite the circumstances, despite the odds that are set against you—be strong, be creative, stay focused on the goal.

Yes, she will come home when her Care Team feels she is ready or the insurance company says no more.  The insurance companies control the health process, boy do I get that.  I want her home but she must be mobile, eat and no stomach feeding tubes.  I know she will REALLY heal once she is in her comfort zone.  This will “up my game”, but I am ready to get Melissa back on track.  So as Glinda tells Dorothy that she doesn’t need to be helped any longer. She’s always had the power to go back to Kansas. “I have?” Dorothy asks. The Scarecrow exclaims, “Why didn’t you tell her before?!” Glinda responds, “She wouldn’t have believed me. She had to learn it for herself.”

Where have you “bean” Ben....

"I am trying so hard but need my rest"

Melissa is once again asking for no visitors, it is just too much for her right now.  She said when she is home, drop by to say hello.  I am sure we will have a welcome home celebration for her.

Her therapy sessions are going good.  She has real balance issues right now, but they have verified it is “the core” that needs focus; her legs are very strong.  With some work she will get there, to “right the ship”.  I am so happy that she is maybe trying to do things too quickly, but no work now, means no going home sooner.  When she stops to think about the process, then  she is quite successful.  So no need to rush, understand how it works then execute the task. They have been teaching me how to do some simple assisting things to help Melissa be a bit more independent not relying on aides to come, it can be too late for some things; if you get my drift.  But having said that, this is a process for her and much to think about with a brain that is already challenged with information central.

I spoke to key members of her Care Team today about progress and discharge.  As always the insurance company weighs in on the level of care.  Tomorrow she will be at a subacute level.  From this point on I need a weekly report to know what her progress is because I want to get her home as fast as possible.  She will heal quicker I know.  I am asking them to teach me how to assist her like I said previously.  Their goal is to make sure she can function at home without a care-giver.  I get it, but they don’t know Melissa and her “home base” yearning.  I am confident in 2-3 weeks she will be ready to be challenged with a new routine.  And there will still be outpatient or in home physical therapy.  By the way HH has a “Smart Apartment” sorta real stage set to teach the patients how to access the kitchen, bathroom, shower, get off the couch and retire the unit’s electrical system.  I was impressed with the thought and detail that went into this learning space.  Bravo HH, this is a quality place y’all. 

Melissa and I discussed the 3 things she has to do—eat food/ swallow, use the bathroom even with assistance and walking even with a walker or assistance.  She almost has 2 down and she is working on the swallowing/eating thing with her Speech Therapist.  Although she did not like the food they gave her today.  Sorry this is not a Michelin Star Menu, it will get better. [I hope]

*pray for stability, swallowing/eating & the troops in Afghanistan (seriously)

**believe with me that she will be discharged soon to begin a new way of living—sounds like “West Side Story” I actually prefer the East side, in a Cal Trask sorta way.

***Sasha used to say, “Where have you ‘bean’ Ben old friend.”

Another Room, Another View...

"You are such a Boy Scout!"

Musical Rooms again and now Wings. Melissa is now in Wing 4B RM 7, Bed B with the view.

Please comply to these rules if you happen to get an audience with “M”.

ABSOLUTELY no removal of seat beat while in the wheel chair.  Melissa has fallen twice and once she hit her head.  She cannot stand right now with out balance assistance. Do not listen to the pleas of Melissa about taking the belt off.

DO NOT take her out of her chair and put her in bed or take her to the her bathroom.  Once again she is a fall risk and you could hurt yourself.  Call the aides and be patient, they will come.  She has fallen once trying to get out of bed on her own and is on a 24 hour watch.

NO FLOWERS.  Give your money to the Spring Lake Borough Shade Tree Committee.  This will make Melissa very happy, she loves trees, “they are the answer.”

https://www.springlakeboro.org/boards/shade-tree-committee.html

IF YOU make a surprise visit, let me know.  It will give me a day to focus on my other patient and our life maintenance things.  Maybe I can sneak in a bike ride.

Melissa is still not very sociable right now and sleeps much.  She is getting better but very much on a plateau right now.  She needs to have patience and soon she will be home: mobile, eating and resting in her bed.

* pray and send positive thoughts about patience in the patient.  Also to move forward off the plateau to ascend and meet goals—this is not going to be a “oh whoa is me party”.  

**WE thank everyone for their support—this journey is not over so enjoy the ride....

Keep checking in, this will be sporadic; maybe a weekly review unless there is something to report

Mrs. PotterIx speaks....

"So let it be written, so let it be done."

On my visit with Melissa today, she told me to relay this message.  

"I am not very social right now.  I need my rest.  I am very tired.  I am not feeling like myself."

"I only want to see Family members.  I am tired."

Melissa is struggling with her impediments at this time.  She needs the energy to focus on her therapy and healing.  There will be time for AWL to visit, but not right now.  I opened the doors for people to come for a visit, but it is too much for her to process.  WE have to respect her wishes.  I felt the same way when I was recovering from Open Heart Surgery.  People stare at you like you are a ghost--shadowy visage of your former self.  The next 2 weeks are crucial in her path to mobility and recovery.  She has come so far on her journey, but there is more to travel.

Sorry.  I will ask later how she feels about visits.  I watched her struggle today cognitively trying to find numbers and letters on a sheet of paper trying to literally connect the dots.  It was a challenge mentally, she finished, but not without pauses and apprehension.  You can tell from her facial expressions she is confused why this simple exercise is so much mental work.  

Please respect her wishes.  Thank you.

*swallow test with barium on Thursday--a HUGE event in the process of eating and drinking.

**Pray/Positive thoughts about the vocal volume; it works hand in hand with swallowing and eating, they are very related.

***DO NOT whistle backstage when Yul Brynner is in a show, he was REALLY superstitious; but of course he has passed.  Whistling was a way the Sailors (stagehands of the old days) signaled changes in scenery which might ruin the show or cause harm to the actors

10 Weeks and 2 days....

"New Room, New View...."

Melissa has been moved to room 7 Bed A Floor 4, Wing 4A.  Her old room was for someone who need the vent etc. but now she has been Decannulated, fancy term for no tracheostomy.  BE GONE nasty tube, but necessary tube in the process.  Her incision site on the base of the neck is healing quickly, you hardly notice.  BTW she is snoring now, which is a good noise to hear.  I miss waking up at night to tell her to roll over.

It is amazing how the body heals quickly for some things.  The Brain is a real process though, that is going to be very progressive on its own terms.  So keep spinning those gears because we are in for a long Stage or not, who knows but the Patrone of this race (her brain).

Speaking of healing, Cairo had a very gnarly procedure last Thursday.  Her Recovery is amazing, waiting for lab results.  I was SO sad AWL weekend for Our little friend.  I have and will not tell Melissa until I know she is ready. But Cairo is secretly doing things she is not supposed to do.  She seems to have her energy back, Spring in her step.

Melissa can talk but if you visit her you need to make her speak up.  A whisper is not good enough.  It is all about breath control and learning to push that air out.  So make sure you ask her to speak out, no whispers.  Walking is getting there and she says her arms are strong.  She told me she is not herself yet.  Understandable. 

*pray/believe for leg strength and mobility/walking

**always pray/believe for no pressure inside the brain

***pray/believe she will pass her swallow test this week so she can have liquids & soft foods

Helen Hayes Week One....

"you're such a Boy Scout...."

Melissa has been at the Helen Hayes TBIR for one week.  She has made many considerable advances.  These Care Givers mean business and they strive for progression-it is aggressive but not like a Drill Instructor at a Marine Boot Camp.  It is more like your Coach, Teacher or co-workers who support your efforts because they know you are capable of meeting goals.  "That was good but next time I know you can do better if you try this...."

1.  WE already know that Melissa can walk with assistance for long stretches at a time.  Her leg strength will build with her confidence and inner stability.  She knows she needs to work on posture and looking up, not at the floor.  Looking down is a defense mechanism for safety, which she will overcome.  Posture will come with more use of "the core" that has been on vacation while laying in bed.

2.  Her Trach has been downgraded to the size just before no trach, the site is covered to heal.  The Trach  is "plugged" with the red plug, so she now breathes through her nose and mouth.  Melissa will now need to learn how to strengthen her lungs.  She swallows small pieces of crushed ice after it melts in her mouth.  These daily tests are for the next big swallow test to see if you can take on a liquid diet and soft food.  This might happen at the end of the week or beginning of the next week.

3.  She is learning how to use her vocal cords again with air being pushed over them.  We AWL take this for granted, but she is learning to take deep breaths to push air out so we can hear what she is saying.  She is doing well, but needs to really focus on this aspect because her Care Team needs to hear what she is saying.

4.  She is getting good occupational training on simple things like clothing yourself to how to get in and out of a chair and to stand at a table.  She is good at pulling off her socks and the pulse oximeter off her finger. (good way to get the attention of the Care Team if you are in need; I taught her that one)  She also asked me to take the seat belt off while in the chair so she could get out and in to bed.  I said "NO, you can hurt yourself and I could get hurt and then thrown out of the hospital".  She said in her soft spoken voice, "you're such a Boy Scout."  That was funny.  Yes I follow the rules and besides that they have a camera and someone watches the rooms AWL day long.

I expect to meet with the Case Manager tomorrow and get their assessment of "joys and concerns".  Melissa is not one for long visits, she rests much, which is to be expected, her brain and body are still healing.   Plus I want her to use that energy in her therapy sessions.  By the end of the day, which is about 3:30 for her, she is caput!  Zzzzzzzzzzzz.... 

Stay tuned, I think next week will be telling.... 

*I am very pleased with HH TRIB, thank you Pam for mentioning them.

**pray for strong breathing, stability physically and mentally and begin eating REAL food and not the ensure they administer.  I always tell the nurses to sneak in a cup of black coffee to wake her up (always gets a laugh, like "what are you doing, smoking crack!?!")

***mention little Cairo in your prays/thoughts as she is having a surgical procedure Thursday, poor pup, she is a tough girl and has not had a great year either.  Although she still eats like a horse and plays like a puppy.  And she is really giving Nina a lesson at Spring Lake.  Cairo is the Alpha at 308 Pitney, now that Ben Buddy Ben is off on his new journey with Alex in heaven or maybe some nice piano bar in the here after singing songs.

720 inches....

The Red Zone...

I saw Melissa walk 20 yards total today that’s 60 feet to those who think in feet and inches. It was with some assistance and she needs to work on standing tall and not looking at her feet but she walked and that made me proud of her. I also watched her Pedal the cycling machine for 15 Minutes. So I am very encouraged by the progress that I see in her physical attributes. I also watched her occupational therapy today where she did many arm exercises and agility things to distinguish rights from lefts  ups from downs. Still she persists in taking off the “pulse ox”. What is it with a band aid and sensor on your finger with a small diameter cord—give it a rest, please!!!  Ha ha.... Today was a good day and no Melissa you cannot have a glass of water, got to pass the swallow test.

Tomorrow I am taking the day off to go hang with Cairo and Nina in Spring Lake.  I miss Cairo and I am sure she is missing me in her own standoffish way.  Got to love her she does not waver.  And Nina will be ecstatic with her high pitched w[h]ine—it hurts our ears and may shatter a few wine goblets in the cupboard.

Now, you who want should visit Melissa.  Helen Hayes Hospital TBIR 4th FL Wing 4A.  Don’t stay long and it is best after 3pm.  Please don’t disturb her PT schedule from morning to early afternoon.  2 people at a time, no flowers or food.  If you touch her use gloves please.  She may be indifferent to your presence, but it is time to ease her back into her world of friends.  I will be there most days from 11 to 5 or 6.  Sometimes it is nice to have a break to breathe though, if we can coordinate that is awesome.

Here is to continued success in the following weeks.... (raise your glass of a beverage of your choice)

*pray for swallow test to be a success & brain function to right itself in good time

**had a Dream last night Melissa was at home and speaking/walking, I didn’t even notice her trach and feeding tube were gone-I was very happy in my dream.... I believe in this dream

I want to go home....

I know, I know....

So the Care Team at Helen Hayes is “kindly” aggressive in Melissa’s rehab program.  She is busy 4 times a day with some type of rehab coach.  I will get a complete report Monday or Tuesday from her Care Manager.  Going home now is not an option.  She has to be mobile and swallow, end of story.  No time for ”pity parties” or dis pare or you will miss the train to recovery and reintegration.

So I tell Melissa everyday when she asks when she is going home, I say you have to get with the program here and try at your pace to get “rolling”.  She needs to focus on mobility which leads to home.  I will continue to reinforce that with a positive spin.  There is no time for favoritism, codling or giving in, this is not summer camp—this begins a new life.

I know she can do this and I tell her everyday I see her, you are strong you can overcome.  

*pray for the fog to lift from her brain and her eyes 
**add a HUGE dose of patience to override frustration, this is not going to switch tracks from the local to the express; it could

#smallsteps #marathon #breathe #patience #confidence

First Full Day of TBIR....

Is that Jack Benny or Cairo....

Okay first full day in the Acute TBIR (traumatic brain injury rehab) was quite interesting.  Melissa had blue lips and a blue tongue.  At first I thought she had put something in her mouth, NOT.  She was tested by the Speech Rehab person with a swallow test.  It is an ice cube in the mouth I was told with blue color to see where the water was going.  Attempt 1 was a fail, but they have to start to see what is needed to get her to a swallow.  They have a plan set forth in that area.  The Care Team already stepped her trach to two levels away from, no trach needed.  They will be aggressive with the step down.  It is time for that hardware/plastic to come out.

Physical Therapy was there twice and they were impressed with her ability to get to a seated position on the edge of the bed.  The balance issue is not good when standing up with some assist; foot/stance placement needs work.  She was able to get in a wheel chair to rest, plus adjust her position by herself.  The PT Team was encouraged by her somewhat strength and will begin 1 hour of therapy tomorrow, split into 2 sessions at first.  They asked me many questions about our living spaces and access, plus Melissa’s favorite recreation things to do; #1 travel & #2 her friends.

Occupational therapy was there before visiting hours so AWL I know is tomorrow she has a session with them for an hour. They work on dressing yourself, maneuvering around the house and cognitive abilities.  They work on any reading and writing deficiencies.

So put this woman to work and get her on her feet and mobile.  No time to waste Melissa, it is “throw down” time as we say in racing.  The moment you challenge your opponents to try and overtake you or you try to “break” them.

#smallsteps #focus #rest #repair #recover #REHAB

*pray for a clear mind and focus for Melissa when she is working with her Care Teams.

**pray that her Team is rested and ready to challenge our sister & friend 

***corny but true and words of inspiration from my Scout Master: “the last four letters of the word American are I C A N, I can!” Let this be Melissa’s inner voice

****pray that I can stay awake driving home on the bee-U-tee-Full Palisade Parkway—yikes,

A Room with a view....

That look on Cairo’s Face....

Okay.  That went well.  Melissa is now in her next stage; the Queen Stage.  She needs to be ready for this challenge.  Her goals have been expressed and the Care Team has goals to accomplish also.  We have new system a new Team who care.

I hope Melissa in her next Stage of recovery let’s go and enables the natural flow of regaining her footing, like a newly born fawn she will struggle with weak legs.  In the end the spirit will empower those limbs to secure her footing and balance.  She will gain the freedom of mobility.  Her legs are strong and her will is even stronger.  Only positive thoughts and a healthy dose of support from us AWL will send her on the way.  The doctor today confirmed that she has vision challenges; I thought so.  But he said she is going to do well in the program.

Maybe the new Melissa will discover she does not want to be what she was or remember us fully; we don’t know.  All will be revealed in the next days, weeks, months and maybe years. The brain is a very complicated mechanism and research can only predict what others have experienced in their rebirth.  Each story I hear or read has different outcomes, focus and healing process.  It is an individual journey with few similarities, but we can learn from those who came before about their discoveries.

As Yoda would say, “in your choice wise may you be”

*“I must be willing to give up what I am in order to become what I will be.”
**This was a HUGE day for Melissa, but she will get what she needs—she is asleep💤💤💤

Cue the Deer....

***self to note, 3 slices of pizza lactose intolerant don’t eat

Stage 3: Lakewood NJ to Haverstraw NY 164KM

We interrupt the regularly scheduled program....

Some of you already know through modern communication formats and maybe even smoke signals; Melissa is moving tomorrow from the LTACH in Lakewood NJ to Acute Brain Trauma Rehab in Haverstraw NY; Helen Hayes Hospital & Rehabilitation Center.  Finally OUR insurance could agree on a “deal”.  I am sure Monte Hall is the CEO of Empire BC BS and Jay is the CFO; Carol Merrill is still in front of curtain Number 3 posing and I am sure underpaid.

I talked to Melissa much about what was happening and what will be expected of her mentally and physically.  She agreed that she is ready to gain her freedom and independence with every step she takes.  She is nervous and I am sure, still confused on the events of her injury through recovery, not to mention the timeline.  Melissa truly does not know the number of days in care of others.  Today also was a HUGE day as she did a big walk with the walker, then was out for 2 1/2 hours resting—which is good; the body is responding, repairing and recovering. She wants me to have a bed in her room—she wrote me a note today.  She also misses her “girls”; Cairo and Nina.  That was conveyed to me in a note today also.

I am looking forward to a new place to view, maybe see some elevation and the Hudson River.   Melissa will get a breathe of fresh air finally, she deserves it!

*pray for supernatural strength to meet the challenge of her program set forth by her therapists
Also we need to focus on getting the fear of breathing bound up and eliminate the tracheotomy—pass her swallow tests so she can take on real food.
FINALLY, no “stinking thinking” in her inner voice.  The mind can play tricks on you if you let it.  Silence the “inner Chimp”.  Positive, faith thoughts.

**a Landscape Architect/Designer needs a new landscape to survey in order to envision AWL the possible design choices 

***the Melissa I know is tough as nails; WATCH OUT!!!

“Where have you “bean”....

I know, I know....

Sorry been busy with insurance calls and working with Social Workers at the LTACH; in short it has been a very crazy week of fighting for Melissa’s Benefits.  I am VERY #disappointed in my Union’s carrier—Empire Blue Cross Blue Shield; #evilempire.  I am not a Jedi Knight.  I don’t have Yoda supporting me with “the force”.  It’s more like the Farce and reality of our health care in this country—a broken system of greed. (Cue Mr. Potter in Bedford Falls bank).
Insurance is not built on sound ground, a fearful choice of future.

Melissa is doing well. She is very antsy and wants to get out and home.  I get it.  But we have one more stop on our tour, Brain Trauma Acute Rehabilitation.  I will know soon where she will transfer for Stage 3 of the Epic ride she is on.  So stay tuned.  At this point I will open the visitation for AWL.  But I would like to keep the visits to 2 people at a time and not more than 20 minutes.  As she grows in strength and awareness, her toleration for energy spent will increase.  She may not remember if you visited from one day to the next, so don’t be surprised.  Melissa lives in the moment. She needs to get mobile to get her sense of freedom back.  She has strong legs and a strong will to overcome her circumstance.  Stuck in a bed is like a prison.  She can break those chains and be free.

*pray for supernatural intervention in the world of insurance policy

**the exotic appeal of the Lakewood NJ area was way over 2 weeks ago. A Scenic Designer needs new scenery

***a Landscape Architect/Designer needs a new landscape

Short & Sweet....

Short & Sweet....

Melissa had a good 2 hour stint Sunday with her trach plug and she was able to speak to us.  She is weak and I am sure there is irritation in her throat but she did very well.  AND as always when there is a big effort, the next day is a rest day.  That is fine, let the body and brain heal.

Things for you prayer warriors to focus on, you positive thinkers.

-Strong Lungs

-More movement with assistance out of bed.  Even if it is baby steps.  A Lazarus moment would be awesome and miraculous.

-Good sound peaceful sleeping at night.

-Heal that brain, reconnect the circuits in time, no rush whatever the body/brain needs.

-Pray for her Care Team, so that they are rested and using all their available knowledge and resources to get M “rolling”.

You AWL have been awesome continue your activity in support of this wonderful person.  I know you can and will.

*#focus #eyeontheprize #encouragement

**pray for water heater No.1, the dilithium crystals are shot

M’s Garden